One reason I hate so many charities

9:31am Fri Jul 3, 2015

A message from Uber in my inbox reads, “We’re working with Mothers Against Drunk Driving® (MADD) to keep streets and cities safe. You can help support this mission by leaving your keys at home and taking the pledge to not drink and drive this Fourth of July. And when you make a donation to MADD, we’ll match every dollar.”

You know what I think of when I hear the phrase “taking the pledge”? Pledges of celibacy, which Huxley dubbed “the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions”. The Catholic church is a pretty good indicator of how well that works. If you want a really good laugh, check out the chapter in Paddle Your Own Canoe where hilarious author Nick Oberman shares his brief experiment with being born again and his relationship with his super hot saved girlfriend. They fucked like animals.

What do you think would save more lives this Independence Day: Doubling one day of the 40 million dollars that MADD takes in every year (including $8,000,000 in government grants, minus the $12,000,000 of salaries, pensions and benefits their army of volunteers doesn’t see a dime of), or MADD doubling every dollar an Uber rider gives to an Uber driver?

MADD founder Cindy Lightner split with the group years ago, describing her Frankensteinian creation as “neo-prohibitionist”. So it’s not just me.