Surgeon General’s Warning

7:07am Fri May 7, 2010



I just picked up four random empty packs of smokes.

“Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide” – true. From Wikipedia:


Carbon monoxide occurs in various natural and artificial environments. Typical concentrations in parts per million are as follows:

  Natural atmosphere level (<a title="MOPITT" href="">MOPITT</a>)<sup><a href=""><span>[</span>24<span>]</span></a></sup>
  Average level in homes<sup><a href=""><span>[</span>25<span>]</span></a></sup>
  Near properly adjusted gas stoves in homes<sup><a href=""><span>[</span>26<span>]</span></a></sup>
  Exhaust from automobiles in the Mexico City central area<sup><a href=""><span>[</span>27<span>]</span></a></sup>
  Exhaust from a home wood fire<sup><a href=""><span>[</span>28<span>]</span></a></sup>
  Undiluted warm car exhaust without a <a title="Catalytic converter" href="">catalytic converter</a><sup><span><a href="">[</a></span><a href="">26</a><span><a href="">]</a></span></sup>
0.1 ppm
0.5 to 5 ppm
5 to 15 ppm
100 to 200 ppm
5,000 ppm
7,000 ppm


Carbon monoxide is also a minor constituent of tobacco smoke.

Notice how they couldn’t even come up with a concentration?

“Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy”

Remember, these are Surgeon General Warnings – Probably why every single word is capitalized, since there isn’t one of them that claims it’s a scientific one. It’s a Warning. By the Surgeon General. Does he even have to be a doctor to get that gig? Am I being conspiratorial? Then explain…

“Smoking By Pregant Women May Result in Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight.”

So that would certainly complicate pregnancy. But of course, it might NOT. But it DEFINITELY causes the other stuff. That’s why every person who ever smoked died from either lung cancer, heart disease, or emphysema. Well, at least they didn’t capitalize “in”.

“Quitting Smoking Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health.”

Is it just me? “in” and “to” don’t have to be capitalized, but “And” does? They do seem to be consistent. ANYWAY…Seriously, think about this. I clearly remember my parents telling me how people who smoke pot and drink just THINK they feel good. I’ve done both for over 20 years and I still think I’m happy.  

I shudder to think what I might do if I realized how truly unhappy I am, despite how happy I feel when I’m smoking and drinking. No, wait! Sometimes I am unhappy when I’m smoking! oh, dude…they gotta add “Smoking Causes Depression And Will Make You So Unhappy You Will Kill Yourself. Do It Now.”