Save the Big Four!

1:46pm Fri Dec 12, 2008

The Bush administration made sure to look after the people first, the ultra-rich people who have more money than they or their families will ever be able to spend in generations. Now that the economic crisis can’t be denied anymore, the banks who HOLD all the money get more, and finally the Big Three car companies. So I started thinking, “Who else has more than they need?”

The answer is simple: The Big Four! You may remember them as the Big Five before Sony combined with BMG, not to be confused with the Big Five oil companies (Where’s THEIR bailout?). Clearly, these guys need help, they’ve been going down for a decade. In much the same way as the banks and automobile manufacturers, the major labels have been charging more for less for years and years, but they STILL don’t have all the money. Their sales are down astronomically as more and more people have gone to independent artists and a la carte downloads, desperately fabricating stars from Mouseketeers and sueing high school students to try and make up the difference.

Music is a luxury item, really. We NEED cars, and credit cards to pay for them, but we don’t need music. That’s why my bank account has been overdrawn so frequently in the last five years or so, and that’s why the majors need their own bailout so badly. The alternative is that, in the same way the car companies have been threatened by an interest in alternative energy, the music industry may finally topple when their clay feet are shattered by independent artists.

I’m sure ten billion would help them get back on their clay feet.