How to Hold a Lady Flamingo

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[Lyric by Jen Finlayson]

She was fourteen feet tall, squeezy and pink
She came for a dance and she came for a drink
She was looking for love and had come from afar
The night the flamingo came out to the bar

She had big flappy feet and a long, curvy neck
But her beak was so sharp no one wanted a peck
So she climbed on the piano and heaved a great sigh
As the piano man’s tunes brought a tear to her eye

Now before long, the bartender, he noticed the clues
For all of her pinkness, the bird had the blues
So the patrons debated, in colorful lingo,
the best way to fondle a female flamingo

Then ’round about eight a brave lady pushed through it
And shouted “I’ll show you the right way to do it!”
So she climbed up beside her, determined and impish,
And hoped for her safety she didn’t look shrimpish

‘Cause that flamingo was huge, but the girl knew no fears
Blew aside the bright feathers and dried the bird’s tears
Then she cuddled up close, caressed her soft wing
And the bird was so happy she started to sing

There were honks, there were squawks, the commotion was awesome
And feathers rained down like May cherry blossoms
Until, in the end, while the piano man played
No doubted, though eggless, that bird had been laid

A sin? Yes it was, the most colorful kind
And yet none of the patrons seemed awfully to mind
She arrived a sensation, she went out a star
The night the flamingo came out to the bar